Duration 7:33

5 Parenting Styles and Their Effects on Life

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Published 30 Apr 2021

There are four widely researched styles of parenting: authoritative, permissive, authoritarian, and neglectful. The styles range from controlling to undemanding, and from cold and unresponsive to loving and receptive. In recent years, over-involved parents, who are present in every aspect of their child’s life, are often referred to as the fifth style. They are also known as snowplow or helicopter parents. #parenting Support our work and become a patreon: https://bit.ly/3mpTLpN Never miss a new video with our newsletter: http://eepurl.com/dNU4BQ Free Masterclass: 👉 To teach your children well and embrace good parenting to set your kids up for real contentment, check out our free Masterclass https://go.mindvalley.com/sprouts-parenting Fun and related: Systems theory - How to organise a Children's Party /watch/gJaZe29bwiMbZ Chapters: 0:00 Parenting styles 1:07 Authoritarian parenting 2:08 Permissive parenting 3:00 Authoritative parenting 4:02 Neglectful parenting 4:48 Over-Involved parenting 5:32 Research 5:50 Tips for parents 6:14 What do you think? Useful links Link to full script: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1zUDbq3Qi1OPcxDjRbmhQGxifshSKn2HG-hqxVlB5yEA/edit?usp=sharing Sources Parenting styles: An evidence-based, cross-cultural guide https://www.parentingscience.com/parenting-styles.html Parenting Styles: A Closer Look at a Well-Known Concept https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6323136/#: ~:text=Based%20on%20the%20combination%20of,and%20high%20responsiveness Parenting Dimensions and Styles: A Brief History and Recommendations for Future Research https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3746212/ Academic competence and parenting styles, as meta-analysis https://www.researchgate.net/publication/281561178_Associations_of_Parenting_Styles_and_Dimensions_with_Academic_Achievement_in_Children_and_Adolescents_A_Meta-analysis Meta-analysis of research from 1,435 studies on associations of parenting dimensions https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/28459276/ Tiger moms https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tiger_parenting Thank you to our patrons This video was made with the support of our Patrons: Enrique Arellano Farias, Vishruth Harithsa, Nancy Bueffler, Adam G, Raman Srivastava, Daniel Kramer, David Markham, Marq Short, Scripz, Muhammad Humayun, Ginger, Tsungren Yang, Esther Chiang, Badrah, Cedric Wang, Broke, Jeffrey Cassianna, Sergei Kukhariev, Andrea Basilio Rava, kritik bhimani, Don Bone, John Zhang, Mathis Nu and all the others. Thank you! To join them visit www.patreon.com/sprouts Video collaborators Script: Jonas Koblin & Avanti Giridharan Artist: Pascal Gaggelli Voice: Matt Abbott Coloring: Nalin Recording: Nalin Editing: Peera Lertsukittipongsa Creative Director: Selina Bador Production Assistant: Bianka Proofreading: Susan Made with MinuteVideos

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Comments - 6155

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@sprouts3 years ago Support our work at 🙏🏽🧡 373
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@plol47383 years ago "If you didn't come from a good family, make sure a good family comes out from you."
♥ 26367
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@drrandom26393 years ago “If Sara cries, she’s told to stop.” What about parents who hit their kid for wanting ice cream, then when the kid cries, they hit the kid again telling him not to cry, making him cry even harder? It’s an endless cycle of pain till the child becomes boxed in and develops a resistance to pain.
Edit: Removed "Asian" because y'all experience this too ... 5494
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@somerandomperson8347 months ago I grew up with permissive parents, but they taught me morals early along the way. A kind of "we're all in this together" mentality. Because of this I never asked for anything much, but if I did ask, they would give it to me. Anything I could do take make their lives easier, I tried to do. When I fell, they let me, they let me fix it myself. They enriched me with experiences and wisdom, and for that I am forever grateful. They always gave 100%, I love them so much. I think that we had a very unique family structure where everyone was equal and deserved a voice. This is why I think that it really depends on circumstance more than anything else. Just my thoughts on the matter. ... 1186
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@connie27100last year I grew up with an authoritarian parents. It took me a long time to realise I had people pleasing tendancies with a lack of boundaries that made me prone to being bullied. Also lack of self worth in general didn't help matters. Lots of talk therapy for 3 years now and I'm learning to reparent myself. Even if I don't have children I know I can self soothe now when experiencing difficult emotions. ... 1420
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@danielaaguilar63303 years ago How about the “parent that constantly switches parenting styles depending on how they feel and confuse their children to the point of causing severe mental illness in them” 28025
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@laramaestrelli10473 years ago "to stop feeling unworthy of love, she tries not to feel anything at all" oh man that really gets me 9914
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@brandonkohler66772 years ago So thankful that I had authoritative parents! Freedom within limits = real life. 2530
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@h.davies51402 years ago I am very grateful that I came from a loving and supportive family, and my heart goes out to anyone that had a difficult childhood. You’re so strong. 415
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@heatherann43903 years ago Its hard when 2 parents have different parenting styles for the same child and dont agree. Should talk about how u were raised before having children together. 5831
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@thedummyaccount3 years ago "As an adult, she doesn't know what she really wants"
I feel attacked. 7545
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@w140last year As a parent I can’t side myself on either ends. My parenting style is always explain everything, my motto I say to him every time “actions lead to consequences”. If he cries because he’s upset - I’m all supportive and calming him down. If he cries because he don’t want to do his homework - I’m strict and explain how doing homework is the gym for your brain and if you’re against it - you’re being against of yourself becoming better, while playing games is fun, you’re contributing into your failing and hardship further along the road. My main key is to explain in every little detail, how his homework that is being done today is contributing into his future and vice versa. When he becomes lazy I let him and just say “action leads to consequences”. I never refuse him anything without proper explanation why in most accessible and simple terms.
My main goal is to ignite his self education and pursuit of becoming better in anything valuable. I support every his initiatives on curiosity. Never lie to him, if I give my word always make sure it’s done.
One thing I can say for sure it’s a great and hard work everyday. I had to explain same thing a 100 times and being consistent with that is most difficult part. I never speak from authority, but only from logical explanations.
Outcomes at his current 7yo:
- still hates homework, but not happy when he does it sloppy, so he tries to make it better
- learned to do his homework by himself with appropriate quality
- still sometimes try to cut some corners. And I happy for that, cutting corners involves smartness of whether what could be done quickly and what should be done with careful consideration
- switched from playing Roblox to creating levels for it and asked to get him special classes for programming, which he attends now
- learned English at freely speaking/writing level. Besides knowing Kazakh(we’re from KZ), Kazakh and Russian
- despises TikTok and can distinguish useful content from stupid ... 71
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@the.fremen2 years ago as someone who grew up with authoritarian parents.. its true i wonder a lot about what i really want to do and its so frustrating that i cant really come up with an answer. i make it my life's mission to give my kids a better experience growing up. being on either end of each spectrum is never the answer ... 140
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@GabrielleTollerson3 years ago my parents were neglectful..now I'm just a people pleaser who clings onto people who show me any little bit of attention for dear life..it's MISERABLE. 2072
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@asithch3 years ago How can they miss the most common type - the abusive, psycho parenting style ?? 3233
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@randoonyt3082 years ago My mum's a mix b/w an authoritative parent and an over-involved parent and my dad's a Neglectful parent... I always felt like my mum had tried to fill in the responsibilities of my dad. It's not like he's not in the picture, he's here and he lives with us but it always seems like he never wanted to be involved in my personal life.
My mom's the only one who talks to me throughout the day, always keeping me busy and I can talk to her ab school drama and my honest feelings easily and we go out together every once a month while I don't even remember the last time I played a board game with my dad
My lil brother was born a bit slow, to say the least, but we all love him. I and my mum try to give him 2 hours a day one hour alone with him and one together. He's really hyperactive and loves my dad sooo much.
My dad however doesn't like to spend time with him at all.
We have a rule that no phones on the dinner table and everyone follows it except for my dad. If I ever call him out, he'd get mad and take his plate inside
I remember always making bday and mothers and fathers day cards for my parents like almost every year and while my mom would keep them in her wallet or hang them up on her office cubicle wall my dad just loses them and I would find them somewhere in the house just laying down
Once he used one of the cards I gave him to write down info while on a call to give to someone and I didn't mind that tbh but what he did next just broke my heart... he tore the piece where he was writing and gave it to the person and when I told him that it was the card he legit said this
"Ohh... ok" ... 20
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@LittleShadow9912 years ago I had one parent who was authoritarian/ neglectful and the other is permissive/ neglectful (at least they agreed on something I guess 🤣). Unsurprisingly, I barely function socially and have a lot of trouble with understanding or expressing my own emotions but at least I'm independent and self aware ... 339
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@jdb81043 years ago The fact that they chose ASIAN family for the AUTHORITARIAN PARENTS THO HAHAHAHAJA 4054
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@XxGEniSiS3 years ago Two brothers. Same age. Alcoholic father. One grows up becomes a alcoholic, asked why? “Because I watched my father.” The other grows up become successful, asked why? “Because I watched my father.” 3523
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@bobdobalina8910last year Styles of Parenting
1 Authoritarian Parents Child grows up not knowing what they want and are generally sad and unhappy
2 Permissive Parents Child is inconsiderate and has no limits
3 Authoritative Parents Child is well adjusted, uses Critical Thinking, Common Sense and Facts
4 Neglecting Parents Child has a negative image of herself, is insecure
5 Over Involved Parents Child lack perseverance and has problem solving issues ... 103
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@GabdeVue2 years ago I was nodding along, feeling good about myself and my family, when the authoritive style was explained. Yep. Sure. That’s me… and the came the helicopter parent, which is easy to see in others but hard to realize you're doing it yourself… kid is in a Montessori school and pretty self reliant, but sometimes I make things easy for him… the hovering was noticed by a teacher in his school when we went there before enrolling him. The teacher told us: well, if this was my kid, I’d let him try out (toy we were explaining to him) by himself. It was the first time I realized that I was too hands on and very thankful for the teacher. I have changed my ways, but I am not there yet. Sometimes a blunt observation by a professional is very helpful. ... 50
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@narikahorng77003 years ago parents should take classes about raising children before they decide to have a kid 2786
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@harmenbreedeveld80263 years ago Ahhh yes, my parents were a mix of authoritarian and neglectful. A very tough combination, I am struggling with the impact to this day, and I am 44. I have been working on myself for years, and I am now in therapy. It is slow going. But I am going. ... 2297
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@mrAtari42last year I would call myself an authoritative parent and I have raised 2 adult daughters, mostly without their mother. One of my daughters gave me a very interesting book to read by Philippa Perry: "The book you wish your parents had read". It gave me some additional insights in good parenting. As I have understood it, raising children is not about the style of parenting, it's about the outcome!
Individual children, need individual approaches, as long as you get the desired outcome. And the outcome is described by Philippa Perry as the following, what children should be able to in the long run:
1. Communicate
2. Regulate emotions
3. Form healthy relationships
4. Think critically
5. Take responsibility
I really love this approach and if there are young parents out there, go and read this book. You won't regret it. ... 6
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@calumbrooknicolson2 years ago Parenting styles and their effects on life should be taught about in school. 97
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@sahithya37803 years ago The problem with most parents of teens is that they expect us to mature up and act like adults when they treat us like kids, needing full control over our life. It's honestly so frustrating 5267
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@nuramaliaathifahazmi3723 years ago How is it possible for my parents to be authoritarian, authoritative AND neglectful at the same time?? They don't let me decide for my own self, yet expect me to make my own choices and be independent in life, AND at the same time completely disacknowledge how I feel about the decisions they make. I am an indecisive ambivert who is emotionally a wreck. ... 843
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@caesa4616last year I had a neglecting dad and an insecure mom, which was overly involved and sometimes neglecting too. I am a selfloving authorative parent right now. My boy has great signs of empathy, he is showing and taking care of his emotions, is loving and does feel loved. He can be an angel, a devil (dont listen and do crappy things), but most of the time he is a lil funny guy making jokes you never thought a 4yr old would make. His acting has consequences, but if our reaction is too harsh, we say sorry and talk with him to find a solution. ... 14
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@man_5ilast month to stop feeling unworthy of love, she tries not to feel anything at all;; nothing has been more relatable than this line for me 2
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@renia18333 years ago My stepdad had the “Abuse/fear solves every problem “
And my mom has the “I’m just going to act like nothing happened “ parenting styles 😅 2321
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@Shaezilla1013 years ago As a child of an authoritarian mother and neglectful father, it’s been an uphill battle but now that I’m expecting a child I am attempting to educate myself so I can be a better person and a good parent. 1397
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@Poopholder2 months ago i like how you expressed parenting as a spectrum in the beginning. there are definitely different extremities of every level, and there is really no way to accurately describe parenting to be within 4 or 5 broad categories. 2
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@sanjumitra15 months ago I grew up with permissive parents and my experiences have been starkly different. My parents allowed me to learn, grow and evolve and because of that, my childhood tantrums slowly turned to me wanting to give back to the community, making me more drawn to the academics and finally I created my self discipline method where I study 8-9 hours everyday as a CHOICE because I LOVE Studying. So it really does depend :) ... 27
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@7own8783 years ago No matter what kind of parent you had. It left you broken in some way. Something was missing. When you have siblings your privacy and autonomy might have taken some hits. When you had none it are your social skills. When you have a parent that tells you always what to do you never learned how to think for yourself. When your parent never told you what to do you might need to find out what others think and learn how to listen to their needs too, so you can get along better.
No matter where you lived. There are things in the world you haven't experienced at your place. Like you might have never experienced being free and doing arts or handcraft when you lived in a city or you never experienced how to have an academic lifestyle when you lived in the country side. That's why you should take some time after you got out of your childhood to find yourself and to find the parts of you never knew you lacked. Then you can take over the sail for the rest of your life. ... 1547
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@imastoopidnerd50903 years ago My parents would never let me do chores and stuff as a kid or taught me how to do basic things and when I got older they yelled at me and stuff for not being able to do basic things 562
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@Katemorgan1015last month Anyone watching this who is not a parent doesn't actually understand how hard parenting is! I had a rough childhood and now overcompensate and am a snow plow/helicopter mom to try to give my child everything I didn't have. I know it isn't right, but it's subconscious. Most people tend to parent based on their own childhood experiences. To parent takes real effort and real insight. It takes concious effort and the ability to admit you're wrong. It's sometimes tears on the parents part as you realize you handled that wrong. Just the other day, I had to conciously catch and stop myself when my daughter didn't win a prize at softball... I felt horrible and almost took her to the store to buy her something. I stopped myself, but it wasn't easy. I felt horrible inside (even though I shouldn't have). She has to learn she can't always win. She does have to face disappointment (much to my dismay). Parenting does not come with an instruction manual! I took all the classes and even have a degree in psychology, but we ALL deal with subconscious behaviors that are difficult to overcome.
I just hope she knows I wake up every day and honestly do my best. ❤ ... 2
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@dea94572 years ago I'm 16 and my narcissistic mom divorced 3 times so I never knew my dad and now she forced me to welcome a man I never knew into our home as family. They neglected me and had no support for my grades or any interest in anything basic, which made it a little harder for me and I quit going to school(they didn't even care). They only said negative things. I wanted to change that and when I told them I wanted to go study outside of school hours (to catch up on my classes), they said "NO," you can't do that because you are stupid" And they hate that I am negative and don't do anything and blame me for everything.
my mom left me a lot when I was very young for work and left me at my grandma's house. My grandma gave me a healthy childhood. My mom didn't like that I wanted to spend a lot of time with her, forbade me to see her, and when I did, she would make up bullshit stories and call me a betrayer. I hear my mom and her new man kissing sexually every day, freaking gross, I am lonely because she doesn't talk to me and is annoying and abusive. I miss my grandma
I have adhd and ofc my mom is not willing to take care of it.
I have suicidal thoughts every day in a toxic home environment. But I can't even work to afford rope because my social anxiety is way too bad :(
If someone reading this
Please love your child and support.
children change depending on how they are raised.
I truly wish I had been adopted by someone else.
Don't let your child have this mindset ... 22
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@Sowta3 years ago You want to be a good parent there is only one rule to me : EXPLAIN. Explain your childs what you want, why you want it. Why it's good for them. Show them, the world, the study, the diseases, the dangers. That works. It really does. ... 2008
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@aemia61533 years ago Coming from an abusive household, I fear having a child. I'm scared I'll lose my temper or worse traumatized my kid like my parents did. Kudos to parents who are giving their kids a loving environment and room for growth. ... 960
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@guineapig09832 years ago Definitely Arthurs authoritive, but loving parents. These are how my own parents are, and personally I think usually the best most well rounded kids are raised from these types of parents. They have the right amount of love and care, and encourage their child to try new things, but they have the right amount of control to not let their kid go wild and turn into a spoiled brat. ... 52
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@PrinceAndrew1002 years ago I think a lot of parenting floats around all the styles not just one style, the other thing not discussed here is the opinions of the grandparents to the parents on how they should be doing things. 16
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@krparica3 years ago Not once in this video is acknowledged existence of two parens having different parenting styles from each other. Analyzing only 5 instead of all 25 possible combinations is certainly much easier task, but leaves the analysis utterly incomplete ... 2811
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@DocMaggie3 years ago My brother is 10 years younger than me and I've seen him grow up under the "over-involved" parenting style. He couldn't do a single thing on it's own, not even remembering what's for homework, until he was about 13 years old. And now, at 16, he's at the top of his class (and probably school), declines any offered help from the parents, and plans on being a scientist. He spends all of his vacation working on projects and reading books. Of course he plays videogames and hangs out with his friends from time to time, but most of the time, he just plans on becoming someone significant.
While this video might seem logically true - it, as everything, only works in specific cases in reality. ... 790
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@gyeomibear5 months ago I love my family and parents. I'm still a teenager, but I learned so much about the world from my parents and they are very loving. They never put pressure on me, but they never let me be too free or reckless with my decisions. Ill be forever grateful for them ... 2
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@TheFamilyTips6 months ago So thankful that I had authoritative parents 10
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@itsarali3 years ago Anyone else out there with snowplow parents who feels guilty all the time?
Man, it feels like I should have turned out better and more independent because my parents were so helpful and supportive compared to the other types here. I mean, I’m so lucky and privileged yet I can’t do anything right. I’m sure people with worse parents all made better of themselves lol. ... 878
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@garyw30702 years ago It really depends on the child. Some kids/teens need more attention and guidance, while others are more independent or self-motivated. Even throughout their lives, these needs change over time. As a parent, we should be mindful of these needs and adjust accordingly, but also allowing them to fail on occasion to prepare them for the challenges of life. ... 1300
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@observerofthevoid9113one week ago My mother raised me authoritarian on studies and socializing but pemissive on other aspects of life. I developed a high standard of living: didn't have to do any chores, have all my things decided/carried/prepared/delivered. basically raised like a princess. I hardly know to do anything by myself and solve problems on my own, became easily stressed by small things. But at the same time i resented my parents for giving me too much pressures on studies and didn't allow me to play games/go out with friends/join extra curricular activities.
My father was neglectful and eventually ran away from home.
I became depressed but i'm working on letting go the hatred and trauma. ...
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@train_xc2 weeks ago It is wonderful to grow up with loving authoritative parents. I took it for granted , but started to appreciate it in my mid 20s. And my appreciation grew every single day.
Almost all my friends have a great childhood, and it gave me a tunnel vision. But growing up, I saw how harsh childhood could be. I now feel for them and hope they stay strong. ...
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@melzerzvlogz60272 years ago My parents were helicopter parents and I've always known that. I never learned to do things the hard way and they always did everything for me. That's why when I moved out I decided to move to another state simply because if I was close to home I knew my parents would come in and do everything for me and I wanted to learn how to be self-sufficient for once and it was one of the best decisions I've ever made. ... 755
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@borabangtan84712 years ago The problem with 'most' unsuccessful parent-child relationships is that they see 'starting a family' and 'giving birth to a child' as a "duty" and "responsibility" than making that decision when you are actually ready for it and are doing it out of love, not responsibility or duty. ... 844
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@faithoverfear69652 years ago My father was neglectful/authoritarian and mother was neglectful/ authoritative at times and then became overly involved as I got older.. I believe I was raised with all parenting styles.
I was much more balanced then my older brother but we both struggle with insecurities and constantly seek to gain our parents approval even as adults now. As a mother of three I try so hard to be authoritarian but I can't help but slip into similar patterns at times. It's really an uphill battle. Only through prayer and submitting to God am I able to be a good mother. ... 5
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@leigh78972 years ago I had the Neglectful parents... But not in a super bad way...my mom lived in a hospital because of her chronic illnesses and my dad was always working and barely home so i understand why I have an anxious attachment style. 20
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@GrnXnham3 years ago My wife has been a teacher for 28 years. She has seen an evolution of parents over that time. The number of permissive, neglectful, and helicopter parents have increased dramatically over the years. Meanwhile the number of authoritative and authoritarian parents have decreased. This has made the job of teaching more and more difficult because children of permissive, neglectful, and helicopter parents are more difficult to deal with in a classroom setting as opposed to children of the other two parent types. ... 1958
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@alianar.d.87243 years ago My parents are definitely the first mixed with the second type. They were laidback in chores but they just wanted me to be responsible. And well it seems fine to want your kid to be a capable human being, but they literally pampered me as a child. And then when suddenly I hit my pre-teen years, they want me to be super responsible without even allowing me to get experience or even teach me. They also randomly blow up and act angry and agitated towards me which makes me feel like I'm walking on eggshells around them, which causes me to fear them. I hate crying in front of them or even telling them about my problems with suicidal ideation since they'll just tell me to pray to god or to just stop being a coward. I can't ever talk back or explain my perspective to them because they do not listen.
Sorry it turned to a vent. I'm just a 13 year old who wants a therapist, but can't get one. If someone reads this, I hope your home life is better than mine ... 435
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@mistertwister20005 months ago “You ruined my life!”
“How could I ruin your life? I wasn’t even there to ruin it.” 6
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@gxooo8 months ago My mom was permissive and dad very authoritarian. As a child it was difficult to understand why my mom always seemed so fun, nice and loving whereas my dad was very strict and cold. I honestly wish I had both parents as something in between those two, so they wouldn't be over controlling, but would discipline me when necessary.
I started drinking and smoking at the age of 15 and became a HS dropout. I hid most of my substance abuse from my parents but the school stuff was obviously not possible to hide. My dad was furious with me but didn't try to help. My mom tried to help, but I feel she was kind of excusing my stupid decisions, like the dropping out.
I'm in my early 20s now and I feel like an idiot, I have learning difficulties and I'm behind everyone in life. I think it's more the lifestyle I fell into that caused this than my parents, but I think my parents could've prevented the alcoholism etc. so... yeah.
I love my parents tho, I do not blame them for my own failures and mistakes in life. ... 2
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@JonathanHOODLAWHood2 years ago I have four children, ranging in ages from 5 to 17. Their personalities dictate which parenting style I use. My oldest was able to make a sandwich by herself with no help, and then clean up any mess she had made at age 4, while my 3rd child is 8 and is just now able to make his own meals. Not that we make them prepare their own meals, but we do encourage them to try. My 1st and 4th children were potty trained in a fraction of the time that it took the two middle children. My stern tone works really well when disciplining three of them, but one of them becomes so terrified that he begins shaking in fear. Two of them go out of their way to help around the house while the other two expect to be treated like royalty. This list of examples can go on forever.....
My point is, there is no right way to parent children, they are all different. You just have to find which method works better and try to stick with it. However, I don't agree with neglect, it's just wrong on all levels!! ... 2342
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@LaviniaCS183 years ago Thank you all for your kind comments of support. I had to delete this comment because it was very personal and I would like to keep a bit of control on who gets to read it, hopefully, nobody from my family. Thank you all, so much, it brought me a lot of peace reading your comments.
Edit: the original comment was about neglectful parenting. ... 602
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@tyasnajmee_official11 months ago Thank you. After watching this video I realized that my parents use the authoritative parenting style. That makes me feel so grateful for having my parents. 4
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@Asmaa_.4 months ago Controlling the child's screen time is totally wow and telling him that his screen time limit he'll begin to controll his emotions and desires cause wanting to watch more and more are desires and that also will make him appreciate the 30 minutes and enjoy every second ... 1
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@leah34502 years ago I grew up with very trusting and understanding parents. I am 23 years old and to this day my father always tells me to make smart decisions and to “remember everything he ever taught me” if I am in a bad situation. I had my freedoms, I never betrayed their trust because I knew how much it meant to them. They raised me to be independent and to have my own life, but I knew their rules and expectations.
My man, 25, grew up with very authoritarian parents. Very strict. Expected respect and obedience. He was punished for disobeying. His parents had ridiculously high expectations for him his whole life and made him feel awful for not meeting expectations. And to this day they are very overly involved in his life and still try to control him and judge our relationship. He grew up with low self esteem, resentment, rebellion, aggressive, and is now a recovering addict. ... 299
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@yandrifadli3 years ago There's also the most fundamental parenting style: The beat-em-up style , which occasionally beat the child to unload their emotions, sometimes even performing a 20-hit or 40-hit combo la street fighter
And also, don't forget to FINISH HIM! with some religious bullshit that all kids must always listen and obey their parents at all times without question ... 296
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@anthanth87138 months ago I grew up in a single parent household and my dad had authoritarian style parenting. I consciously wanted to be not like him. I have got kids now and both me and my husband gives clear boundaries to our kids and always gives the kids to make a choice after explaining the good and bad side of things. Surprisingly they make the right choices almost every time. Never say “no” to anything without a proper reason or explanation worked really well for us. ... 14
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@KhmerTarotReadinglast year I’m glad that i have neglectful parents but i grew up want to help others for attention.
And now i’m growing to be a person to develop myself and helping other in moderation.
Compassionate is what im working to be ... 1
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@zeth5263 years ago parent: I want the best for my child
also that parent: proceeds to make that child's life miserable 436
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@KristinaSandnes3 years ago My parents were the authoritiative ones and I've had a very good childhood. I've always been independent because they made me feel safe doing things alone, but they were always there if I needed a helping hand. 💕 I'm gonna do the same with my daughter. I want her to always feel safe and know that I'll show up for her and support her. ... 185
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@rainerzufall6892 years ago I don't really know which type my parents really were, but we are almost disturbingly 100% the "Authoritative" type. And naturally I am convinced it is the way to go and do not respect the other styles. That said, obviously a style can only be a goal to achieve without ever reaching it 100% but I feel that our son feels very wanted and loved and skilled. But there are two sides to everything. Thinking about going to bed there are parents that just put their kids to bed and leave and ones that always wait for the kids to sleep. For us it is important that he would accept and be able to just go to sleep on his own (at the age of 5 now) without getting a panic attack if necessary and he does when he was really nasty and maybe bit someone but in reality we always stay with him for 10 minutes or so to spend some time together (and maybe some more time if he really can't sleep and comes back to the living room) and there are few conflicts.
In general conflicts can be 99% avoided if children know right from the start that there will be consequences. If you are an asshole I turn away and you can play on your own. If you decide you made a mistake I will forgive you and we continue. After all, most of the things children have to learn are not debatable. People are not to be kicked, plates are not to be thrown. So far I feel successful. I give my son plenty of opportunity to express what his problem was and how it all ended up in a wrong decision. Most of the time he can't explain, which is ok, because I think now with some distance he himself knows there was no good reason. And I tell him exactly that, give him advise to think of that prior to making the same mistake again and we rarely have problems with bad decisions. So far he hasn't broken anything out of anger yet and despite obviously having a father with a difficult character (as seen from the view of normally talented people) he manages to get along with other kids at least considerably better than I did. He didn't go to the kindergarden before turning three and aven now he only stays there for 3,5 hours a day. I think it is a good compromise. We didn't want kids to give them away. But of course he has to learn to get along and play with others. Everything running according to plan for now. ... 8
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@kozo13255 months ago My dad is an Authoritarian parenting plus Neglectful parenting when he stayed home. My mom is the only one guide me hopes in my life, she's an Authoritative parenting, but sadly she died and I was left confused with my father. I still grew up with fragments of her teaching in me. Teenage years was sooo hard for me, but with what I kinda knew that I had somethings, something beautiful, inside of me... I spent years inside the therapy but feel like maybe... maybe this is my life. my life. ... 2
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@angelas50993 years ago I feel teachers and babysitters cause part of the issues too, since young kids of working parents see their parents only for a small part of their day. 298
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@andruism73 years ago Something of a combination of Authoritarian and Dismissive in my family... my brother and I both recognize that my family 'doesn't do emotions'. When I realized I had depression, neither of my parents seemed to have an interest in helping, even when I reached out for help. Also never felt able to connect with the people I cared about, something I am still dealing with today. What a cheerful comment this turned out to be! ... 222
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@Gillian3D-confidencelast month Authoritarian, authoritative, and over-involved parenting styles were used in my house. My dad was strict but was always good with advice if you were good with him. My mom was over-involved (with my brother only) but she also gave good advice. As the younger sibling of a brother with disabilities, I was always more independent and treated more strictly and maturely. Now that I am finally an adult, I feel like I had a fast childhood and that I didn’t have enough time to make mistakes and grow up naturally without being criticized and judged all the time. I felt like i was being demanded to be something that I wasn’t mature enough to understand yet. This vid was helpful. ...
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@blackalwayspink2 years ago my mom was extremely neglectful before she passed, she was barely around physically & when she was she wasn't socially or emotionally present. my dad has always took on both roles for my sisters & myself, he was by far style 3...he gave us space and let us make decisions on our own with a watchful eye and discipline when needed (even though at times it didn't feel necessary, it was looking back on it.) now he's style 5, he won't let us make any moves on our own. ESPECIALLY me, my older sister has been planning to go to university in Canada for 3 years now (she's 20) & he was all on board, now he wants us all to move to Canada out the blue? he won't let me go anywhere, it's almost like he doesn't trust me, but I've done nothing to give him the idea that I'm untrustworthy. He tries to do everything for me like I'm an infant...it just gets worse as months to by. It's more than likely this is a trauma response to his ex wife's passing, but we're the ones who suffer & ik he's suffering from being on 3 people's heels 25/8 for no reason. ... 5
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@yourwatch85063 years ago Great video! Unfortunately, people nowadays often forget the essence of parenting; it's supposed to be a fun and healthy relationship. 382
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@tausifchowdhury81803 years ago "if sara talks back she gets a timeout"
Every Latin, Indian and Asian parents:*slapsthe shiznit out of their children* 1035
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@Agarcia44807 months ago I got teary eyed at the neglectful parents part. 1
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@sheveka2 years ago Growing up, I had a combination of mainly permissive, neglectful and to a lesser extent, authoritarian parenting when I went too far because no one had guided me until I messed up and then they were harsh with me. With my own child, I want to be an authoritative parent because there's love and attention but also boundaries. As Jordan Peterson said, never let your children become the kind of people you don't like. ... 16
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@maritzah.40392 years ago One of my parents was “Authoritative” and the other was “Over-Involved” 🤪 I still believe they were great parents because they truly loved me , supported me, and just wanted the best for me❤️ I love them 432
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@AvantiGiridharan3 years ago Thank you so much for letting me write this Sprouts! Honoured to have scripted this video. 726
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@lhart99last year Man, I love these videos. Psychology has always been on of my favorite subjects to learn about, because it's a subject I can apply to my own life. I definitely know some people who've been raised in each type of parenting approach. ... 5
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@queen_julia.3rd4 months ago Personally, as for me, understanding the mentality of children is a very important part in upbringing and parents often miss the fact that children may have various reasons why they don't want to communicate with a certain segment of society or group, of course, the social problems inherent in each family have a significant impact on the upbringing of the child in adolescence, but I believe that the preservation of personal qualities doesn't extend to a certain period of life, this is a special part of upbringing. ... 3
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@djfreem68812 years ago My dad was authoritative and my mom was an authoritarian. Between the two, I’d say he was the better parent; if he told me I needed to do something, I did it. At the same time, there were chances to explain why I thought: rules, instructions, or situations were unfair and I was able to explain that to him and get feedback on why he agreed or disagreed and how that would affect xyz going forward ... 217
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@321sarahbob3 years ago My mom is mostly authoritative with a tiny bit of over-involved, while my dad is a mix of 1/5th authoritarian, 1/5th authoritative, 2/5th neglectful and 1/5th over-involved. I'm quiet the little cocktail lol. 116
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@HentaiSweetie2 years ago My parents are definitely number five. I struggle with a lack of motivation and even when I wanted to do certain things on my own my parents, especially my dad, would actually get angry if I didn't let them him involved in something and even if he messed something up because of his involvement he never learned. Things like that are just one of the many reasons I barely speak to my father as an adult. ... 6
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@100musicplaylists32 years ago Authority + empathy + love and affection + self esteme + life skills. It's not rocket science but evidently people lack the self awareness to not go to one extreme of the spectrum. 7
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@ryanhayes41482 years ago My parents were both different blends of authoritarian and neglectful. My mom being mostly authoritarian, being very controlling when I needed freedom and neglectful when I need guidance and affection. Her only means of communication was yelling. My dad was mostly neglectful, with bouts of authoritarian when conflicts arose. As a result, I’m now an anxious, depressed person who can never make a decision and has trouble forming relationships. Thanks a lot, Mom and Dad.
EDIT: People! I am not "playing the victim". I was a victim of a certain kind of childhood. I said I was anxious and depressed. I didn't say I let those two things keep me from living my life or trying to improve myself. I have learned to manage my anxiety and depression but they will never go away. I will always live with them. I didn't say that I refuse to make decisions or that I let others make them for me. I meant that it's very difficult to make decisions because I'm always afraid to make the wrong one. It's hard, but I keep doing it and try to be more confident. BUT IT'S STILL HARD. I didn't say I don't have relationships or friends. I said I HAVE TROUBLE doing it. Discovering why you are the way you are and why you struggle with certain things and being able to definitively say "This is why" IS NOT the same thing as letting the negative parts of your upbringing stop you from living a meaningful life and then blaming someone else for the fact that you haven't done anything about it. You all really need to read and stop jumping to conclusions. ... 367
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@IsoraBEinfinity3 years ago There's another parenting problem where you feel more attached to one parent but not the other one because they have different styles and they both end up making you confused too... : ( 155
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@Randomguy-rc1eilast month I grew up with authoritative parents. I was almost never given anything I want, not a single toy bought, no birthday celebration, taught to be extremely obedient, always beaten if i did something wrong🙂. Of course I always felt inferior among friends, coz usually all of them had toys or other things that I dont. Cant start a relationship coz i feel i dont deserve it. Bullied among friends coz i always take the low ground. Grew up among harsh friends too. I was too kind and too good, people always take advantage of me. I always felt left out among friends. But the good thing tho is that now I feel more mature than most people, i understand pain, justice, I can read people easily. Tough childhood made me a stong individual now, and Im sure I will become a good father. ... 1
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@ritafritz417410 months ago I raised my 4 kids authoritative according to this. They all claim they couldn’t have had a better childhood. They were allowed to have adventures. Now they are all successful in their life with great careers and no mental illnesses or physical. They still love me and are grateful that we brought them up this way. I never have to be ashamed of my kids. I can’t say the same of the grand kids. They are brought up partly in the 5th style or confused style. I can’t say anything otherwise I am not a popular grandma. 😢 ... 26
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@Rootsofgrace2 years ago I was raised in a neglectful/permissive home. My parents were the perfect example of what I wish to never be. Breaking the cycle is so hard, but possible! I think the hardest thing for someone who comes from those circumstances is allowing yourself to have the insight that what happened was wrong and its a choice to do better for your kids. I had a terrible childhood, but my children are having a wonderful childhood. My inner child is continuously being healed from the Mom I have grown to be. ... 141
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@leo-or4ef3 years ago when I was a kid I was bullied in school so much by girls and boys due to me being very quiet and shy., now coming home my mother was very strict and often abuse me, I still think that I feel unsafe around humans sometimes so I became more introverted as I grew older. somehow I see through people and their bullshit. ... 110
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@BirdBathBonanza2 years ago Thank you for this, some of us who struggle in adulthood really need this. Take care of yourselves and stay positive everyone ! You are worth it , always 😻 4
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@ellenbruckermarshall41798 months ago Apply this theory forward to work and employment to understand how leadership-followership plays out.
There is a need for “different strokes for different folks” in the same situation. An advanced application of Hersey & Blanchard’s Situational Leadership model. ... 1
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@ascia1583 years ago My parents were neglectful. They only care about themselves and their problems. Dad was very emotionless and harsh. He never showed us affection or love. In fact he try to show us the opposite. Mom was very careless about us. As a result of that I have a very low self-esteem and no confidence at all. ... 164
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@pcapcom52833 years ago I've always thought that the true meaning of being a parent is that they should never be heroes to their children, they should be guides & mentors. 132
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@Movietuff2 years ago My parents, especially my dad used to get mad or strict whenever I wated to show my negative emotions and it hurts having to hold those back . What made my father more mad was me saying something bad about them.
Deep down I know that's not what he wants but it still feels bad.
He loved me like any loving parent would and he indeed was better than his own father was according to what I've heard. He was by all means not physically violent at all but sometimes he has hard time restraining himself in situations where he's mad or disappointed.
He's willing to apologize for his behavior after a serious situation when he thinks it's necessary but one thing that he never found wrong was having others show their negative emotions as a bad thing, even tho not for his malice.
I love my dad and he is deep down an emphatic good person but his parenting isn't always what's needed. ... 2
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@Lizzifer7last year My daughter is almost 2 years old and I just want to do the best for her. Rules are important but so is expressing your feelings, toddlers are still learning how to control themselves and learning how society works, I'm still learning how to be a really good parent and I'll never stop learning cos the challenges will always change as she grows. I'm leaning towards Montessori style parenting, where you allow the kids to be themselves within a certain limit but also my daughter could not respond to this, I'll have to pay attention to her and see what works. ... 1
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@DojKim3 years ago : "she is sent to the corner for time-out" with Asian illustration. We don't have time-outs, but time for straight up smacks to the face 99
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@carolinefortney39782 years ago I had permissive and my mom was my “best friend.” I ended up on hard drugs and troubling through school. I am sober now and Authoritative with my kids and they are great! 88
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@wilsons28822 years ago educating yourself to be a good parent before you have kids takes priority. the second best thing to do is to help your kids grow and educate them financially so u can give them what you couldn't give them as a parent figure. ... 5